It took me a long time to get to the bottom of “What the fuck was wrong with me!” It’s a pretty difficult realisation to come to terms with the fact that you are in that much physical pain due to a mental issue.
Here is how I went from perfectly healthy to a zombie.
After being a full time musician for 10 years somewhere along the line making music had become about making money and survival...not making really great art.
So I could focus on just being an artist I decided to get a part time job. I started working with my brother who runs a business in the construction industry. We made a great team and before I knew it I was working full time and we were expanding the company into a monster.
At the same time I had also taken a lease on a recording studio. I was writing and recording a new record, I was editing all the videos for the system, I was building a new website, I had bought my 2nd house, I was moving apartments and I was working on a secret research and development project for an electronic drum company.
I was finishing at the studio at around 3 - 4 am each night and at 7am my phone would start ringing out of control. The sleep deprivation caused me a quite serious anxiety disorder. Since I was so tired but constantly putting myself under enormous amounts of pressure all the time my mind had locked itself in the “fight or flight” mode. Since I was all day in an office and all night in the studio my vitamin D level had gone to ⅓ of what it should be.
As I looked around, I noticed half the people I know are also “killing themselves for a dream” …..After doing a bit of research I have discovered that overworking is actually a global wide epidemic. The consequences for your health are astronomical.
The japanese refer to it as “Karoshi” which literally means death by overworking.